dona's 365

Bonnie ’s older sister, Diana, married George, divorced him, then re-married him. Why? Who knows? Not long ago we spoke on the telephone and she told me about her inability to digest gluten, thinking it would help me in some way. I think my mother told her I once had diarrhea.

I remember very little about Darwin, except that he wore cowboy shirts and a perpetual sneer. Recently I saw him in old family home movie footage, but it told me nothing. He was Bonnie ’s older brother and agreed with his dad in most things. For example: “reading was for losers”.

The first few years I knew Laura, she spoke maybe 10 words to me. Now she’s comfortable enough to expel entire paragraphs at a time including shrieks, whines and curse words. She’s spending part of the summer in Scotland, the homeland of her parents. She’s one of Clare’s better friends.

Breece’s mom, Donnamae, joked that her whole family was ADD, but her huge heart of gold made up for any deficits in her attention. My kids always seemed to end up hanging out at her house – maybe the four cats, one bird and friendly, yet hyperactive, beagle were the lures.

The Two Pats Originally uploaded by donapatrick . Jeremy’s mother, Pat, was levelheaded, gave sensible advice and shook her head at silliness. I didn’t think I knew her as well as I knew Jack, but after he died, I realized it was she who wrote me the letters. All those years I thought it was Jack writing me.

Third-grade classmate, Jean, announced to passersby that she was a Martian. It added to her reputation for being weird. She was my secret Santa that year. I don't remember what I gave her, but she gave me a small blue candle shaped like a church. Maybe she was a Martian.

During a difficult IEP meeting for Penny, an emotionally disturbed teenager, Penny’s mother turned to Jeanne, my immediate supervisor at Pace School in Pittsburgh, and said, “You wear too much makeup.” Jeanne simply replied, “Thank you for your comments, but it is not my IEP.” The mother behaved after that.

Still handsome and active at 75 or so, Sue ’s husband Lou climbs ladders to clear his gutters in windstorms and to make sure the roofers are doing their job. He’s a regular golfer and gives well thought-out advice about nearly everything -- but only when asked. Even teenagers find him fascinating.

Barry’s a runner, and a stay-at-home dad, although a veterinarian by trade. Robin works from home full time as a sales rep. Theo, their adorable 2 year-old, is madly in love with Clare. The three of them moved in almost a year ago – we couldn’t ask for better next-door neighbors.

First Eileen moved in next-door, then Paul, then they got married. Eleven years later Paul decided he wanted to find himself. Now he lives on a houseboat and Eileen has moved to North Carolina. It sucks because we really liked them. Before she left, however, Eileen found us good replacements .

Michael, who we’ve known for years, has always seemed even-tempered and levelheaded. Imagine my surprise when he was the loudest in a shouting match last night at the meeting between the neighborhood and hospital. Not that the hospital administrator didn’t deserve to feel pain; it wasn’t a well thought-out action.

Mrs. O'Brien proudly sports a Bush/Cheney decal on her bumper. It stands out on a street of mostly liberals. Even after 15½ years on the same street, she still asks me who I am every time we meet, then apologizes for not buying Girl Scout cookies from Clare in 1999.

Undoubtedly the best educator I’ve ever known, Mr. DeLuca did more than teach. He used every possible opportunity as a teachable moment He was kind, firm and fun and seemed comfortable around parents and children alike. Most of all he liked the kids. Both kids were lucky to have him.

No-nonsense and absolutely not touchy-feely, Ms Mitchnik, was the first teacher that was not influenced by Andrew ’s charms. She had high expectations for her fifth graders. Andrew was not happy, but rose to the occasion by working hard his final year in elementary school. Well done, Ms M.

Fourth-grade teacher and cheerful fellow, Mr. Delpierre was the opposite of Ms Scher when it came to relating with adults. His unusual sense of humor sometimes scared students, but Clare found him warm and kind. After he married a student’s au pair they were featured on a House Hunters episode.

Inconsistent, sarcastic and volatile, Ms Stein — nicknamed Frankenstein by her students — needed to have a career far from young children. Unfortunately for many, including Clare , she chose to teach second grade. Among the few adults she allowed into her classroom, I attempted to model kindness to the woman.

My memory of Ms Stottman, Andrew ’s 3rd grade teacher is rather sketchy at best — I went back to work that year. I know Andrew loved her and she loved Andrew. That was also the last year I remember Andrew enjoying school — after that school became an unpleasant chore for him.

Mrs. Scher taught Clare in 3rd grade and Andrew had her for 2nd grade. Neither one disliked her, in fact Clare quite liked her. Mrs. Shear did not seem to have good grown-up people skills, however. Most parents with whom I’ve discussed Mrs. Scher this felt she didn’t like them.

Petite and elegant, Mrs. Beecher taught both my children their first year of elementary school. Soft-spoken yet confident, she made each kindergarten student and their parent feel special. When we’ve run into her at various school gatherings, she remembers each child to whom she speaks and remarks on their accomplishments.

Grandma ’s youngest brother and Auntie June ’s husband Harold was often heard chuckling about something or another. I remember once, riding in his Ford on the way to a lake in Wisconsin he sang: Wouldn’t you really rather have a PEW -ick? ” Then chucked at his cleverness. We need more like him.

Though Todd lives not far from us, I have not seen him since his wedding at least 15 years ago. We used to be very close when he and my husband were in grad school together. We’ll see him tomorrow though, at his wife’s funeral. Where doe s the time go?

Clare ’s Girl Scout troop leader, Nike (pronounced “Nicky”) likes to be in control. Her disorganized yet dictatorial leadership has caused most of the troop to abandon the organization. Still, she’s remained with the troop for these 11 years, and that’s no small feat. And the girls are far from angels.

Even if Suzanne, who could be the sweetest person I know, hates a book, she always finds something nice to say about it. When she lost her husband to leukemia a few years ago, it made the rest of us stop and consider our own marriages; then the divorces began.

The person and longtime friend who got me to join the book group, Debra regularly suggests a classic, but like mine, her suggestions are largely ignored. Some members of the group think that by sometimes choosing a book set in Ireland, Debra’s desire for a James Joyce will be satisfied.

Consistently cheerful, Regina usually attends our book group meetings. She rarely suggests books, but does her best to read many of the books suggested by others. She usually says something positive about a book, even if she dislikes it. I hope she is as happy as she appears to be.

Attorney for a large cultural icon in Washington DC, Marsha’s been missing most book group meetings recently because of work. She fretted over her two children leaving for college, but now loves the freedom of the “empty nest”. She’s already decided on a post-retirement career – an independent college admissions counselor.